Traits of the 20th Century Librarian
Why waste your time trying to be a "21st Century Librarian" when you're just going to retire in a few years? You're perfect just the way you are! Stick with the same ol' thing you've been doing since you started working 27 years ago (and hey, don't be afraid to remind everyone of just how long it's been!). To raise the awareness of those around you, here's a list of traits for the 20th Century Librarian.
Fear and loathe change
Leave technology to others
Be completely ignorant of any/all trends beyond 1975
Use only phones and email for communication (avoid email as much as possible)
Read the whole thing! It's a HOOT!